I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
