eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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