So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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