we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
