their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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