Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's rum buckets o'clock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
