I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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