Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
