I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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