so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
