Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
