you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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