I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
