drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
