Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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