Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This baby is an asshole
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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