He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
