Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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