Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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