You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
