it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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