Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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