who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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