You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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