it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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