Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
