btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
