I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize