yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
