so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
