dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
