My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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