My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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