you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
