I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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