Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
