Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's shark week go big or go home
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
