Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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