Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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