he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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