woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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