They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
