Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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