He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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