She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
