I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
