Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
