rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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