Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
