tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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