She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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