So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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