just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize