You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
