Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
