I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
