Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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