Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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