She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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