she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
