How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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