broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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